Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
