i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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