He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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