Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize