I CAN MOONWALK!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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