it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
