If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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