Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
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Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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