there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
