I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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