so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
