Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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