I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
