Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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