I looked at my own cervix.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
