Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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