i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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