Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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