I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize