Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
