Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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