ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
