have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
