I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this is an emotional support booty call
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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