Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
