The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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