Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
