names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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