Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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