If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
