we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
