It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
