I don't think brook has ever known best
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
