Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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