The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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