Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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