you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
