I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
