okay pat passed out under dana's car
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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