Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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