Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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