im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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