yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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