thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize