went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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