He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
