new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
