the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
