oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
