i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
