Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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