Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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