he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
