Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
