so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
