She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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