I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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