all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
