That's when you crack a 10am beer
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
