i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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