it's too hot outside to masturbate.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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